Chinese Culture >> Chinese Society Traditions >>
Traditionally, there is a saying in Chinese Culture "it is 
natural to get married when growing up." Obviously, Chinese people value family 
ties a lot. So wedding, as the holy ceremony of being tied, are so important for 
Chinese.
Having a history of over 2400 years, wedding customs in China remain from 
generation to generation. What remained now are chief objectives: joining and 
enhancing the two families and ensuring succession with numerous descendants. 
The recurring elements are reverence to parents and ancestors, omens to 
encourage fertility and wealth, financial and social obligations contracted by 
both families at the betrothal, extensive gift giving etiquette as well as the 
bride' s incorporation into her husband' s family.
Proposal
Undeniably, the process would begin with an elaborate marriage proposal and 
acceptance. Traditionally, there would be a go-between, who acts as a buffer the 
two parties-the two families of the prospective bridal and groom. That is to 
say, the proposal and betrothal negotiations were the parents, rather than the 
young people who would probably tie the knot.
When the parents of the boy identify the likely bride-to-be, the buffer would be 
sent to present betrothal gifts to the parents of the girl to express their 
feelings about the match and make a promising tie for their young.
Deep in Chinese culture, "marriage is for continuing the ancestral line and 
creating alliances between families. That seems to be too significant a duty to 
be left in the rash hands of the young." Also there is a belief that the 
families of the bride and groom should be of equal rank. However, today such 
notions changes a lot but there are still some people believe that such matched 
couples only could reach old age together.
Engagement
After the two families sign the contract, engagement is taken. There would be 
several auspicious wedding dates suggested by the boy' s family for the girl' s 
family to choose from. Also the family of the groom-to-be would present 
betrothal gifts of money and significant items like tea, dragon and phoenix 
bridal cakes, pairs of make and female poultry, sweetmeats and sugar, wine and 
tobacco, accompanied by an itemized statement of these gifts.
Customary, the received bridal cakes are distributed by the girl' s family to 
friends and relatives as a form of announcement and invitation to the wedding 
feast. In turn, people who receive the bridal cakes are expected to present 
congratulatory gifts to the girl' s parents.
Several days after the presentation of the betrothal gifts, the girl' s family 
would send the porters with an inventoried dowry to the boy' s house. Usually 
the dowry is practical, including a chamber pot, filled for the occasion with 
fruit and strings of coins.
Actually the betrothal gifts presentation shows acknowledgment and reverence of 
the parents' efforts raising the girl, while the dowry sending displays the 
social status of the girl' s family as well as their love for the daughter. 
There are even serving girls sent to attend their daughter in her new home by 
wealthy parents.
Historically, the betrothal would last a year or two. It is binding. If child 
betrothals, it would last until the children had grown to marriageable age..
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