Chinese Culture >> Chinese Society Traditions >>
Traditionally, there is a saying in Chinese Culture "it is
natural to get married when growing up." Obviously, Chinese people value family
ties a lot. So wedding, as the holy ceremony of being tied, are so important for
Chinese.
Having a history of over 2400 years, wedding customs in China remain from
generation to generation. What remained now are chief objectives: joining and
enhancing the two families and ensuring succession with numerous descendants.
The recurring elements are reverence to parents and ancestors, omens to
encourage fertility and wealth, financial and social obligations contracted by
both families at the betrothal, extensive gift giving etiquette as well as the
bride' s incorporation into her husband' s family.
Proposal
Undeniably, the process would begin with an elaborate marriage proposal and
acceptance. Traditionally, there would be a go-between, who acts as a buffer the
two parties-the two families of the prospective bridal and groom. That is to
say, the proposal and betrothal negotiations were the parents, rather than the
young people who would probably tie the knot.
When the parents of the boy identify the likely bride-to-be, the buffer would be
sent to present betrothal gifts to the parents of the girl to express their
feelings about the match and make a promising tie for their young.
Deep in Chinese culture, "marriage is for continuing the ancestral line and
creating alliances between families. That seems to be too significant a duty to
be left in the rash hands of the young." Also there is a belief that the
families of the bride and groom should be of equal rank. However, today such
notions changes a lot but there are still some people believe that such matched
couples only could reach old age together.
Engagement
After the two families sign the contract, engagement is taken. There would be
several auspicious wedding dates suggested by the boy' s family for the girl' s
family to choose from. Also the family of the groom-to-be would present
betrothal gifts of money and significant items like tea, dragon and phoenix
bridal cakes, pairs of make and female poultry, sweetmeats and sugar, wine and
tobacco, accompanied by an itemized statement of these gifts.
Customary, the received bridal cakes are distributed by the girl' s family to
friends and relatives as a form of announcement and invitation to the wedding
feast. In turn, people who receive the bridal cakes are expected to present
congratulatory gifts to the girl' s parents.
Several days after the presentation of the betrothal gifts, the girl' s family
would send the porters with an inventoried dowry to the boy' s house. Usually
the dowry is practical, including a chamber pot, filled for the occasion with
fruit and strings of coins.
Actually the betrothal gifts presentation shows acknowledgment and reverence of
the parents' efforts raising the girl, while the dowry sending displays the
social status of the girl' s family as well as their love for the daughter.
There are even serving girls sent to attend their daughter in her new home by
wealthy parents.
Historically, the betrothal would last a year or two. It is binding. If child
betrothals, it would last until the children had grown to marriageable age..
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