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Chinese
Marriage
by: Wong Yee Lee
In ancient China, a man
could have as many concubines as possible after
the first wife. It was possible that the
youngest concubine would be a teenager while the
husband could be an ancient old man. Poor
families sold their young daughters to rich
families just because they could get some money
from the rich family and also get rid of a
useless female in the family.
Since 1950, the Chinese
government has promulgated a law which stated
that one man can only get married with one
woman. It offends the law for anyone who has
more than one wife.
In the past, parents
arranged marriages were very common. Usually
young people would have their spouse decided by
their parents. Sometimes young people could only
have the first look of their spouse at their
wedding. It was also common that sometimes an
arranged marriage could be organized even before
the child was born as long as parents from both
families agreed.
In modern days, things
have changed quite a lot. Free love prevails and
lovers can choose to get married with whoever
they love. Of course, in order to show their
respect to their parents, formal agreement has
still to be obtained prior to any proper
marriage procedure.
Even more modern,
matchmakers businesses are all thriving just
because sometimes people find it a bit hard to
find their true love.
Before getting
married
Before getting married,
young people have to pay a formal visit to each
other's parents. When visiting the girl's
parents, the boy has to bring with him the
betrothal gifts in order to show sincerity. When
the gifts are received, then both the boy and
the girl are engaged. When the girl visits the
boy's parents, the parents have to prepare a
formal gift for the future daughter-in-law.
In China, usually the
newly wedded couple will move to live with the
boy's family. Sometimes it is not surprising to
see that they will live with the girl's family.
However, in these modern days, young couples
would prefer to live alone without the parents
if they can afford to pay for a new flat or
house.
One of the wedding
procedure is that the bride has to prepare a
dowry to be brought to the bridegroom's family
on the wedding day. A dowry is things bought by
the bride's family, which includes blackest,
clothes, accessories, daily necessities and etc.
What comes next is to
choose a good day to hold the wedding. It is
very important in the Chinese culture. A
wedding, being such an important day in a
person's life, has to be held on a day which
symbolizes goodness. People will choose the best
day based on the Chinese Lunar calendar, or on
any festival days.
The wedding ceremony
 A
formal Chinese wedding requires the bridegroom
to pick up the bride at the bride's home after
respectfully greeted the parents-in-law to be.
The couple-to-be will then go to the
bridegroom's home, where the bride will greet
her parents-in-law to be, or to the banquet
location. If they choose to go to the
bridegroom's home, the young couple will have to
greet the parents-in-law to be with a cup of tea
each and the parents will return the
daughter-in-law to be with a red packet of money
inside. Similar to the western culture, the
bride and bridegroom will be accompanied by
bridesmaids and best men and they are usually
still non-married.
One very important
procedure is the banquet. All relatives and
friends will be invited and they will wish the
new couple with all the best. At the banquet,
the newly wed has to drink half glass of wine
for a pair of glasses linked by a ribbon. After
that the newly wed has to cross-hand and drink
the other half of the wine. It is believed that
after this ceremony the newly wed will love each
other more dearly.
In some parts of China,
the fish served in the banquet should not be
eaten totally. The head, tail and the whole
skeleton of the fish should be left untouched so
as to symbolize a good start and end of a
marriage.
After the banquet, friends
of the new couple will usually continue the
night by deliberately disturbing the new couple
with a few games. Games will include different
quests for some difficult performances or
questions. Unfortunately to the newly wed that
these games usually last till very late in the
night!
However in the modern
days, many young people try to skip most of
these rituals or ceremonies. They do that either
because they think that new generations should
not be confined by these old traditions, or some
do so just because of economical reasons of
trying not to spend as much money as possible.
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