Dumpling Sister's Thoughts
4.2.2007 The Story About Her (Chinese Version)
“I think I will never want to know how he turns out to be, the kind of man he turns out to be. “ It has been several years since the time when the two of them were innocent and simple. Now the two of them has gone their separate ways. It is hard to say if they still live on the same continent.
I look at her. This woman, who holds the pens like holding the cigarettes, though she doesn’t smoke, continues saying that she likes that soft feeling of loneliness that it almost makes the feeling romantic. Only she knows it the best.
It is really true liking? I think and reply with a smile. She knows that I know what she is thinking. We have been friends for so long, of course I know her and her liking.
Under the dim light, the two of us are both silent. It is difficult to detect the passage of time, or the ageless of waiting for someone, melancholically. The young man who finally left her years ago must have turned into a fine matured man now. She slowly tells me the past. If he knows that she still remembers him, I have to ask her if he knows that she still remembers him, but she cuts me off saying what it doesn’t matter really. Then she turns back to looking at the tall glass that is in front of her.
True, the person has left so it really doesn’t matter if he knows that she is still broken over him. I know this is night of remembrance. I decide not to interrupt her thoughts as the night goes on.
“Do you know that one time he had a hair cut and he looked so fresh? I kept saying that the hair cut looked really nice on him, As a result of that, he got a little embraced because of my forward comments.” She laughs and tells me the story. I say to her that his hair cut must be really bad looking before the new one.
“Of course, it was too long, plus, he told me that once he was being mistaken as a miss.”
(Being mistaking as a miss? I think to myself, is that right?)
“Too bad I didn’t have any of those before-and-after pictures to show you,” she said it regrettably.
I think, well, that is ok as well, what is the point of keeping the pictures really. I bid she probably ultimately derives the same conclusion as well.
“It is getting late, do you want to continue listening to my rambling?” She asked.
I look at her and see the loneliness in her eyes. I think to myself, fine, I will continue being an ear.
The night gets even later. There are no stars or the moon visible in the sky. There is only the gentle wind breezing through along with the romantic feeling mixed with loneliness that gets scattered all over the places.
“I remembered back then I used to get pretty stressed because of the work and the people I worked with, so to lighten me up he would suggest that I talk to a friend of mine whom I usually had good and laughable conversation with. He would always way why didn’t you call that friend of yours up and chat for awhile, despite the friend was a male friend. He didn’t get jealous for that. He just wanted me to cheer up.”
“Such a grade A material,” I say.
“But really, at the time, he was too attached that made me go nuts. I just wanted to run away. Especially when I was younger, for those people who were closer to me, I usually mistreated them. I kept thinking, ‘God, please kill me. This drives me nuts’. It is the action equals reaction type of response I had, only it was the negative type.”
“Sigh, if he were to appear five or ten years later then things would have been much better,” she wondered.
I think the same too. This friend of mine, who has been through a lot in her life, has been taken advantages by others in other occasions and lost some opportunities in others. She is still by herself. To most of people she appears independent and able, and someone who should be proud of themselves with her own style. But at this moment, with she being the way she is now, there is only a woman with her genuine self and a tall glass in front of her.
“I know I will be fine, but tonight, I really miss him.” She takes a breath and covers half of her face with her hands with her head down. “I still wish that somehow I would run into her at some corner. It doesn’t matter how.”
“Ok, forget about it, tomorrow is another day. Don’t keep thinking about him. “ I pad her back and say gently.